Arf

I have yet to meet a dog who doesn’t print his “R”s backwards. You’d expect this from a bulldog, whose burly paw you can’t even imagine grabbing a crayon (the preferred writing implement of canines) or a Chihuahua, whose paw would shake too hard to hold one, and especially a Borzoi/Russian Wolfhound (check out their alphabet), but a German Shepherd? One of the smartest breeds? Even these guys don’t get it right.
Cats, on the other hand — or paw, really — not only print the R correctly, but, when writing in script, illuminate all letters like a medieval monk.

6 thoughts on “Arf

  1. Mr. Salt and Mr. Pepper were screaming, pleading for you to not bite the ears of Ms. Diva, but that Mr. Paprika sure is a sick bastard chiming in “that’s right, bite her, bite her good.” But what about me, says Mr. Coffee Maker? Hahahahaha! Having serious flashbacks.

  2. Gah! Thanks, Dave! I will make the change, thus rendering your comment puzzling to those who read it after the fact!
    And Mike, remember, “We have to stop making everything talk! We have to stop!” Yeah. Right.

  3. If you get crazy and go for that necklace around the bunny’s neck– no problem– I have a bag full of those candy necklaces leftover from Valentine’s Day. You could have one every day for the next two months and no one will be the wiser.

  4. Mrs. Z, Karyn, the first runner-up, already has “dibs” on the candy necklace, so I feel like I am somehow contractually obligated to abstain from eating it.

  5. I don’t know if you ladies know this, delicate flowers that you are, but not only are those candy necklaces delicious, but they are also powerful weapons.
    Step by Step Instructions for Turning a Frilly Rainbow Candy Necklace Into a Sinister Martial Tool by Brad
    1. Put the necklace around your neck.
    2. Isolate one candy bead on the elastic string, using fingers of both hands to restrain the other candy beads to the sides or back of your neck.
    3. “Grasp” that isolated bead between one of your top front teeth and its corresponding bottom front tooth.
    4. Stretch your arms farther in front of your face, creating tension in the elastic band.
    5. Aim.
    6. To fire the catapult you have just created, simply bite the candy in half. One half of it should fly with incredible accuracy and impressive speed at your chosen target. Bling! The other half should fall softly on your tongue, allowing you to literally taste the sweet rewards of your efforts.
    Blind your date on Valentine’s Day! Kill birds and rabbits for Easter dinner! Bling! Bling!

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