Standard issue

Wake me when I should give a flying fuck or fig leaf about how Justin Bieber was Photoshopped in the Calvin Klein underwear ads to look more beefy and “hung” than he really is, even though (despite being a colossal jackass and brat) his body looks terrific as it is, and every female model or celebrity from here to eternity in any ad anywhere for the past 14 titzillion years hasn’t been airbrushed, color-corrected, manipulated, squished, elongated, erased, slimmed-down, plumped-up, and Photoshopped to the point where, when confronted with an image of them unadulterated, we think, “Girl needs some work.”