My phone likes when I ask it how old celebrities are.

“Okay, Google. How old is Ted Danson?”

“Ted Danson is 68 years old.”

“Okay, Google. How old is Mary Steenburgen?”

“Mary Steenburgen is 63 years old.”

“Okay, Google. How old is Jason Schwartzman?”

“Jason Schwartzman is 36 years old.”

But after that, Google gets impatient and only supplies the number without the name, like a parent who, on the way to IKEA, thought it would be fun to do that “I spy with my little eye” thing, and realized quickly it wasn’t going to end with the car trip.