Still Life

Ordinarily I avoid “tourist traps” like the so-called plague (as if anyone purposely seeks “the plague”?), but this past Tuesday I just couldn’t resist, and found myself at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum with my friend Sal. I wound up taking 130+ pictures with my fabulous new digital camera. (What freedom, knowing that I didn’t have to “worry” if the shots sucked, because I wouldn’t be wasting money having them developed. But as much as I want to wax rhapsodic about my camera like a mother and her newborn, I’ll save that for another time. Maybe. Or maybe not. Because I’m sure that reading my tender description of every adorable camera feature would be just as unbearable as listening to New Mommy babble.)

Anyway. Wax Museum. What can I say? You really do have to see it for yourself. Let me just tell you that (1) Robin Williams can fit in your shirt pocket; (2) Joan Rivers looks like she will eventually look three plastic surgeries from now; (3) Michael Jackson appears more life-like rendered in wax; (4) Jodie Foster should be pissed; (5) So should Brad Pitt. And let me also say that if you do eventually find yourself among these wax wonders, please please please resist the urge to pose next to them and act as if you too are made of wax. It’s not cute even if your age is still in the single digits.

The posing reminded me of when I was in Pisa, when the Leaning Tower Of seemed to be parallel to the ground, and almost every person who posed for a picture in front of it would lean toward the Tower in the foreground and stretch his arm out so it looked like he was trying to bolster it. Although I do have several pictures of myself with the Tower in the background, not once did I have the urge to pretend I was holding it up. However, in the background of these photos of me, you can see other people doing it.

(Oh, and by the way, if you want to see any of my award-winnings photos, please email me by clicking on “Say Something. Anything” at the top of the page.)
Update (5 June 2002): If you’d like to see those fabulous fotos, you can find my email address under “Contact” in the column on the right.