Yeah. So it’s raining. A lot. And it’s windy. Quite. They’re calling it a “nor’easter”. You can just call it windy rain. Don’t say “nor’easter”. It sounds retarded. Better yet, don’t talk about the weather in the first place. We all know it’s raining. We all know it’s windy. Think of something better to talk about. Don’t be so obvious. Don’t make me hate you.
Or at least talk about how much you love the rain and how you wish there were a parade, or softball game, or carnival/fair/fest today that it could rain on and ruin. Or how you wish it were a Saturday and someone’s wedding would be ruined. That’d be worth talking about.
I know I’m “supposed” to feel sympathy/empathy/compassion for the poor brides and grooms and all the attendant schmoes when the Big Day is a big wash, but I don’t. I really groove on knowing that they won’t be able to stand up and wave through the open sunroof of their rented white limo, or take that romantic chariot ride around Central Park, or have their pictures taken on a grand lawn somewhere. I love knowing the white train of the bride’s dress is bound to be sullied (just like the virginal bride later that night! teehee!) along the hem and her hair is destined for frizz and cowlicks. I like knowing that there will be tears.
But won’t it be poetic, that they’ll do their crying in the rain?
How pretty.
Enjoy your day!