Cursed Cursors

I ask you: What’s so wrong with a standard default cursor?
Why must I be assaulted by all manner of clever cursors running amok on the internet? Why do the people who use them do so?
Why must stuff like this — — exist? (I don’t want to link directly to it, so if you’re curious enough, you’ll cut ‘n’ paste.)
And for fuck’s sake, stop it with the little sparkly clocks that follow the cursor across the page.
It’s not so much to ask. I don’t ask for much. (Well, I do, but shut up.)