When inching your way along the sidewalk (or pavement, if you will) (or even if you won’t) (really, it’s up to you) with your cohorts, please be sure that you position yourselves so that all of you form a wall of flesh so impenetrable and slow-moving that no other pedestrians can get past you and your lardian lummoxy lumbering.
Please note that the sidewalk is not, as commonly believed, a public space, but your own private playground, so your absolute oblivion is not only welcome but encouraged.
Bonus: For even more effective clogging, and in order to inhibit anyone else from enjoying their pavement privileges, be sure to take a much-needed, sudden break from your soporific shambling and stop en masse. If you even notice that those whose progress you have prohibited (and chances are you don’t) are cursing you and calling you a variety of choice names, give those people only the dirtiest looks. After all, they clearly don’t know that the universe does revolve around you.