Green for a Day

Hurrah! It’s St. Patrick’s Day!*
“Everyone’s Irish today!” So go out and perpetuate a stereotype!
Enjoy your green beer, Shamrock shake, Irish potatoes, and whatever the hell else you think symbolizes Ireland.
Make stupid jokes like, “Erin Go Bragh-less!” and think you’re original! Make it even more moronic by affecting a really bad Irish brogue when you say it!
And when your breath stinks like beer and vomit, don’t wonder why I’m not heeding the button pinned to your shirt, commanding me to kiss you because you’re Irish.
You’re not Irish. You’re just a drunk jackass in a green shirt.
*Technically it’s tomorrow, but today is the day o’ fun!