Everyone’s oh so busy busy busy these days. On the go go go go go! They’ve got places to go, people to see, soccer practice to drive to. Everyone’s a go-getter, a hot shot, a bigwig. And everyone’s looking for a way to make more efficient use of their time. “Even if there were 25 hours in a day, I’d still need more time!” these harried comedians say. “I should just put on rollerskates!”
Hee-yuk.
Well, because I care so much about humanity, I’m here to help. I have a few time-saving ideas that are guaranteed to free up some extra time in people’s cluttered days, and thus afford them the opportunity to fill that extra time with what’s really important: watching more reality TV and hanging out at the mall.
Because I have nothing but time, and just adore the irony of offering you time-saving tips in a less than efficient manner, I will dole them out sparingly. My first time-saving device is as follows:

Take an entire week’s allotment of showers in one day. You may not think you’re really saving much time, but when you figure in all of the wasted minutes waiting for the water to heat up (city-folk, you know what I mean!), the labor of shedding your clothes, the task of working up a good lather, and all that arduous drying off, you can easily shave quite a chunk of time off that which you ordinarily reserve for personal hygiene!

Be sure to waste your time checking my site frequently to see if I’ve included more tips throught the next several days. Because we all know that people with no time to spare somehow find a way to squander quite a bit online.
(Oh, and you’re welcome. As always, I am here to serve.)