Simple Solution

To you, dear parent, your screaming and crying child aboard the train is doing such a nice job of expressing himself. My, what healthy lungs! You proudly encourage his enthusiastic display by dint of doing nothing to discourage it.
To me, you slovenly heap of flesh, your expressive child is the subject of a particularly vicious daydream in which I come up with innovative ways to separate his lungs from his body and him from your charge. I will spare you the details, as they are about as unfit to print as you are to travel with your child.
Perhaps you are unaware of the simple mathematical formula (no math skills beyond basic algebra needed!) by which you can determine the true value of your brat’s adorability in relation to your perceived one. Please allow me to share it with you here:

a = how adorable you think your child is
b = 0
c = how adorable I think your child is
a x b = c

Please make a note of it.