Go on.  Your sofa can take it.

Thank you, Budget, for the affirmation and validation, but I’ve been cursing at my armoire for three years already. (Hey, it started it.) May I also have your permission to direct venom at small appliances, i.e. a pointed FRAPPÉ YOU to the blender, and to call my vacuum cleaner a COCKSUCKER?
Didn’t she write about Budget moving vans before?
Yes. Yes, she did.