12 Steps

I don't have to walk a mile for a Camel!

This morning, a few steps from my building’s front door, I found evidence of someone’s funfest last night. I can’t tell you how jealous I was to discover that while I was inside enjoying the tastiest Chinese food this side of the Great Wall, some other lucky chuck was on the other side, outside, having himself one fabulously elegant time.
I always suspected I was missing out on something great, but now I finally have proof. (Eighty proof!)

P.S. This reminds me: My mother, who has been smoking for at least 31 years, quit two weeks ago, “cold turkey”, and has not had a cigarette since. (She has, however, oddly and appropriately enough, started smoking turkey. A fowl habit indeed.*)
* Shut up. You love it.