Dog Run

The latest targets of my disgust and abhorrence are the cretins who “walk” their dogs while riding their bikes. And I’m not just talking about a slow pedalling kind of bike ride, so slow that it’s a wonder the bike and rider can remain upright. No, I’m talking a fast pedalling kind of bike ride, the kind that uses the bike for actual transportation or a “workout”. The kind that is way too fucking fast for any dog to keep up with. The kind that says, “I’m an arrogant, inconsiderate, me-first, screw-the-rest-of-the-universe, inhumane piece of shit.”
You are not killing two birds with one stone, you thoughtless bastard. You are not walking your dog. You are literally running him into the ground. There is no way he will be able to relieve himself in any way this way. He won’t be able to relieve himself the way a real walk would enable him and he won’t be able to relieve himself of the maniacal galloping that you, thanks to your supreme inhumanity, have forced upon him.
Yes, I know dogs love to run. But not for sustained periods of time where they can’t stop when they are winded. Not when they are forced. Not when they have no choice but to do so lest they wind up with mangled, bloodied stumps for paws or become part of the pavement. (And don’t even think about writing to me to tell me about dog races and how cool they are and how, man oh man, those dogs sure can run and they love it!)
If you want to use your bike to get from here to there, fine. Do it. If you want to use your bike for exercise, fine. Do it. But for the love of dog, leave yours behind while you do so.