Hello, Sir, with the long, wiry, gray ponytail and the youthful face!
Why do you like to smell like a revolting blend of urine-soaked barnyard hay, never-washed-although-worn-daily tube socks, and the lining of a week-old corpse’s stomach, when you can just reek of baked-on sweat like the rest of the gentlemen at the gym?
Have a nice day!
* * *
Any application of patchouli is an over-application.