Just a little suggestion:

Would everyone just knock it off already with the “_____ is the new _____” hilarity? We all know that 40 is the new 30 (oh haha), another color is the new black (oh hahaha), and that some other something is the new something whatever (oh, I’m in stitches)!

When my cherished friend, the inimitable Mrs. Z, recently told me that her four-year-old son is being terrible, I consoled her by saying, “Four is the new two” — and promptly made myself vomit (involuntarily!).
Vomit, by the way, is a classic and will never be replaced by something new.
Thanks for your cooperation.