Oh so sorry

Due to a mysterious and intermittent visceral upheaval that, from time to time today, has had me quadrupled over in what could only be called “excruciating, soul-wrenching pain that makes me want to stab myself in the abdomen with a knife, preferably expensive and serrated and without breadcrumbs attached to it”, there will be no fun-filled, wit-wielding entry today. I am taking advantage of a lapse in the pain to put myself to bed, so if the pain returns, it will do so while I am asleep, where it will thus manifest itself as a sheet-twisting, blanket-kicking nightmare involving toothlessness and Kelly Ripa, although not concomitant.