Book Crooks

Cheryl Borochaner: Please return Lost Horizon (James Hilton) immediately. I lent it to you in tenth grade, and when I asked you to return it in eleventh, you acted like I was the one on drugs. I know it’s been 25 years since I last saw you or it, but I still want it back. If you haven’t finished it by now, I don’t think you ever will. A shame, because it’s a really good book.
Denis H.: Yes, I did too lend you Breakfast of Champions (Kurt Vonnegut) in 1980. Stop acting like you don’t remember. Come on. Give it back. I don’t have a crush on you anymore, so it’s not cute.
Leslie K.: When do you plan to replace Going Down (Jennifer Belle), which you claim you lost during one of your moves? Saying you’re going to replace it isn’t the same as doing so. Hop to it.
Note:  Denis’s and Leslie’s last names withheld to protect their privacy, since he and she are my brother’s and my friends, respectively. Cheryl Borochaner lost her senses somewhere beyond the horizon in 1978, so who cares.