Better Off Dad

Uhh, hello. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your dad right now? Or with some guy who at least reminds you of your dad? Even if you hate your dad or he’s long gone due to death or a golf tournament, shouldn’t you be having brunch somewhere in (dis)honor of him? I don’t care if he’s abandoned you and your brothers and sisters for that “secret” family he’s been maintaining during his all too frequent “business trips” to Ohio … you should still sorta acknowledge him somehow, even if it means spitting when you say his name.
So get outta here. Go somewhere else. Go hug a dad. Or make one out of clay or sand or mud, and do something daddish with him.
I’m not your dad. As much as you want me to be, I’m just not. So go away. Come back later. I might have photos of random dads or something. One of them might even be yours!