Low Bro

I love my brother like a brother. Often I refer to him as “The Boy Me” or my twin who was born two years before me. He’s a groovy guy, a real swinger, a snappy dresser, and so many other things I’d rave about if only it didn’t seem somehow wrong given that since we’re so alike, it’d sound like I was raving about myself. I’m sure there are self-help books out there that say it’s fine to sing your own praises, but I prefer the old-fashioned method of self-deprecation and whispering bad things about myself behind my own back.
So, anyway, my brother’s opinion means a lot to me. I respect him despite his many (oh so many many many) faults. Faults, which, by the way, are his and his alone and which I, despite being The Girl Him, do not share. Ordinarily he exhibits fine taste. However, he recently told me something that has forced me to reassess my long-held belief that he is the grooviest brother since Greg Brady. And that is this: He removed my site from his Favorites because he absolutely detests my fun food fotos.
You may have noticed that I have not shared many of my lunches with you lately. You may have noticed that I have not been quick to show you what’s been lucky enough to pass through my lips. You may blame my brother for this.
But you know what? Since he’s boycotting (his word) this place, I don’t have to “worry” about catering to his tastes. So toward that end, I present to you every lunch I took photos of that I did not show you because I wanted my brother to love me:

Elemental Foods, Tofu Stir-Fry
3 June 2004
Elemental Foods is one of those places I’d pass and say, “Oooh, one day I have to actually go in!” So I took the plunge and did, and had this. It was quite good, but there was not nearly enough of it. Also, the rice, which was supposedly jasmine … well, I didn’t taste enough jas in mine. Still, it was a nice little flirt of a lunch.

Vegetarian’s Paradise 2, Crispy Soul Chicken™
12 June 2004
Since my recent “discovery” of Vegetarian’s Paradise 2, I’ve become one of its biggest fans, despite the curt, wholly unenthusiastic greeting from whomever the woman is who does the seating. The waitstaff’s cheeriness and attention make up for her gruffness, as does the food. I am a big fan of big appetizers, and this one is so good it makes me want to cry. So I do. But not on the crispy coating, because that would make it all soggy.

Vegetarian’s Paradise 2, Herb Roasted Chicken with Garlic Mashed Potatoes and Assorted Vegetables
12 June 2004
The “chicken” was, I suspect, a Veat product. I love Veat so much that I would happily run away to live with it on a deserted tropical island if only I weren’t delightfully wheat-intolerant. I can stand its adorable quirks, but I will not tolerate many of its other less than charming idiosyncracies, which manifest themselves as intestinal anguish the following day.

Gobo, Vietnamese Stir-Fry Rice Noodle with Five Spice Tofu Rolls
16 June 2004
Yesterday I took my secret son, Cody, to Gobo to celebrate the end of his junior year of high school. As I told him, the food on this plate makes my mouth sing. (Yes, you’ve seen this dish before. Remember?)

Gobo, Sesame Protein Nuggets in Sweet and Sour Sauce, Malaysian Salad, Brown Rice
16 June 2004
Ordinarily I do not show what my dining companions ate. I am making an exception this time, to show you what made Cody’s mouth sing. If you want to hear it sing sans food, go to Coney Island this Saturday afternoon and check out his band! I hear he’s quite good.

So there you have it. Munches of lunches that were in hiding because I feared my brother’s bad juju. He wants to have lunch with me sometime soon. I just hope he’s prepared for me to take photos of everything in sight, including the salt and pepper shakers, tablecloth stains (his), and the look of utter disgust on his face.
Bite me, brother. Oh, bitez-moi!