Booby Prize

Last night I attended the WYSIWYG Talent Show to see/hear my very talented (and cuhhhhuuuhhhuuuuuuute) friend Matt read. I was so proud of him that I almost got a little “misty” — just like Fonzie did when something or someone touched his leather-clad heart. But I wasn’t moved to full-fledged blinding, cheek-staining, shoulder-heaving, mess-making tears until I won a prize in that night’s drawing. Here is the reason for my unabashed eye-wetting:

I almost wet my pants, too, with excitement. Of course, there are two ways a girl can wet her pants with excitement, and I will leave it up to your wild-girl imaginations to determine which way I mean. Either way you imagine, though, you can’t lose, because both are hot hott hottt.
But not as hot(t)(t) as my prize. At least as far as I can see from the box. Because, you see, I can only see as far as the box. (That sounds vaguely sexy … or disgusting … or both … but I assure you I don’t mean it that way. I really don’t.) Thanks to not having a DVD player on which to view this masterpiece, and thanks to the strategically-placed stars, I can’t see anything. (I, of course, did not place the stars on the DVD’s cover. If it were up to me, I would use happy faces or teacups [teacups for the C-cups! oh, LOL!], or just airbrush out those offensive body parts altogether!)
I intend to twirl the DVD in front of my face really fast, though, and hope I can get a glimpse of the titsy fiesta that way. If not, I’ll just have to go to another show and hope to win a drawing for a DVD player.
I’m a winner!
P.S. There were two drawings last night. The person whose name was drawn first got to choose between this prize and two tickets to the Guggenheim. I hope that bitch has a nice time looking at all that boring art stuff. What a loser!