M&M is for Murder

Candy Carnage
Back Seat of Taxi, Driver’s Side, 6 May 2005

I apologize if the image is a bit too graphic to handle over your cheese danish this lazy Sunday morn, but life isn’t always pretty, friends. (I, on the other hand, always am.)
I was fortunate not to have witnessed the actual murder, which is more than I can say for the few spectators pictured here. To save them from further grief and, indeed, the same fate suffered by their fallen colleague, I plucked each one of them from the crime scene individually, warmed them en m&masse in the palm of my (admittedly quivering) hand for approximately one minute to give them a sense of security (and also, I must confess, to test the “not [melt] in your hand” claim [a MYTH]), and then popped them all in my mouth at once, so they could experience their own fate the way nature intended.
RIP blue M&M. Life isn’t always sweet. You will be missed.