Hark! I am leaving very soon for Christmas festivities in Arkansas! Please feel free not to vandalize my property in my absence. (In case you want to do so despite this request, my address is &4K West bjfau9ap4a8r9-384&@p Street, Apartment {p$#2. You can’t miss it.)
I will be with people who have no experience with The Jewish. Woody Allen in “Annie Hall”, much?
And now I must put clothes and other items into a suitcase. I hear this is called “packing”.
Have a very happy merry whatever, kids. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do — whatever that means. (That saying always confuses me.) Or maybe do everything I would do. Or don’t do something you think I would do.
See you soon.
Latke love,

P.S. Please vote in the poll, if you haven’t already done so!
P.P.S. Please enjoy my very special Christmas message to all of you.