I am, apparently, “it”

A couple of days ago, I mentioned that someone had “tagged” me to participate in another “meme”. And then, like now, I deemed it absolutely necessary to use quotation marks around those words, much as I do with all words or phrases whose use does not come naturally to me and which on some level I find irritating (at the very least) or repellent (somewhere in the middle) or full-on inexcusable (at the very most), but which, for some reason, are being foisted on me in such a manner that I am required to use them. Words such as “decaf”, for example. (I’ll leave it up to you to determine under which of the three levels this word falls.)
So. Without further fanfare, here are the rules of the thing:
* Link to the person that tagged you.
* Post the rules on your blog.
* Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
* Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
* Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
And here are my contributions:

  1. I can handwrite backwards almost as quickly as I can forwards. Ask for a complimentary demonstration if we ever meet. (If you already know me in real life, it will cost you $10.)
  2. I anthropomorphize everything. My computer monitor vigorously nods its head in recognition and agreement.
  3. I cannot kill anything. Once, when I lived in Philadelphia, a roach decided to take up residence in my living room without first asking if I had any objection. Because I do not appreciate that sort of presumptuous attitude, I decided he would not be allowed to stay. Besides, as everyone knows, roaches do not use coasters and thus their coffee mugs leave unsightly and often impossible-to-remove rings on many porous surfaces. Rather than murder the roach, as someone with a less pure conscience would do, I told him, as I went upstairs to seethe, that it would be in his best interest if, by the time I came back down, he had just taken his things and left. Otherwise, I threatened, he would have to answer to me and there would, yes, be hell to pay. Fortunately the roach did not know that I cannot harm a fly, because when I finally slunk down the stairs to check on his whereabouts, he was nowhere to be found.
  4. I do not read any “women’s” magazines. InStyle, Mademoiselle, Glamour, and the like are all dead to me.
  5. Pre-answered the other day. (See link above!)
  6. When I was in elementary school, I would not eat the center of a sandwich. My favorite was peanut butter (no jelly). I would eat the crusts off first (removal of crust during the sandwich-making process is an activity I will never endorse) and then make my way toward the center. It was there that the bread would have received repeat layerings of peanut butter and thus contain the greatest concentration. Although I adored peanut butter (Jif), I did not like it in thick globs, so the center of the sandwich would remain untouched. My brother always accused me, sometimes even rather angrily, of manufacturing this behavior so that when my first album came out, that quirky tidbit could be featured in the liner notes.

Although the “rules” say that I must “tag” six people for this thing, I am not going to do that, because I cannot think of six people who would forgive me for doing so. I will just have to suffer the consequences of my maverick rule-breaking. However, I do invite you to participate in comments, but only by “sharing” six items. All other rules are to be disregarded, especially the one about linking back to me. (If you link back to me anyway, I will not think you are clever. I will, however, want to “tear you a new one”.)

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