Just Desserts

I’m 20. I babysit four spoiled fucks under the age of ten who don’t understand the word “no”. Dad tells me to use “the belt” if they get out of hand.
And they do. But as much as I ache to snap the leather next to their faces to elicit terrified yelps, I don’t. Instead I dig out spoonsful of frosting from a can Mom bought that afternoon.
Mom and Dad come home, and Mom discovers the almost-empty can. Dad slips the belt from the hook and chases the boys upstairs as they tearfully insist they didn’t eat the frosting.

0 thoughts on “Just Desserts

  1. In preparation for a festive Mardi Gras, New Orleans lines Bourbon Street with the latest in all-new custom-designed Port-O-Lets…

  2. SMEG. How unfortunate.
    That reminds me of the time GM was trying to market the Chevy Nova in Mexico, and wondering why they weren’t selling.
    Turns out ‘No Va’ in Spanish means, “It won’t go.”
    Also, what were the Wang computer people thinking when they selected that name? Was “Shlong” taken?

  3. The name “Wang” is Chinese. The names are given when their mothers give birth: It’s traditional that at the moment the baby is emerging, the mother throws a wok against a wall, and the resulting sound is the name. “Wang” is a relavtively easy birth, where the more difficult ones are named “Ping Pang Fong Qi Wong-wong-wong-wonga-wonga-wonga-wonnnnnnng.”

  4. I don’t know what “smeg” means. I just know I’d love to have a big pink one in my home. Look how cute! I’d use it in the kitchen all the time, I’m sure. Although I’d probably use it just to keep beer in. 😉

  5. SMEG is short for smegma, which is a perfect word for what it is. Eeeuwww.
    As for you Thomas, the name “Ping Pang Fong Qi Wong-wong-wong-wonga-wonga-wonga-wonnnnnnng” is the funniest damn thing I have ever read.

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