“Equinox Made Me Do It”

I am rarely compelled to write a letter to an organization. But I just had to write one in response to this poppycock, which I see every morning when I go to the gym.
– – – – –
Equinox made me write this letter.
It made me tell you that I’m thrilled that the increase in my membership fees is being put to excellent use in the form of your latest advertising campaign. As if I already weren’t delighted enough by an earlier one, in which a variety of sleek lovelies was depicted in positions best described as compromising, and one young lady saw fit to climb the Stairmaster in back-breaking heels, I am over the moon regarding the latest campaign and its cheeky narrative. I had no idea that my rigorous commitment to maintaining a high standard of fitness could best be represented by bon vivants committing felonious acts such as trespassing and getting into the sort of scandalous scrapes that result in beautiful black eyes. If it weren’t for the two naked scandal-mongers at the end wearing appropriate athletic footwear, I wouldn’t be able to distinguish this narrative from that attached to a film that would enjoy direct-to-DVD success.
Fit to be tied,
Jodi ___
Proud Equinox Member Since 2000

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