When I was five or so, and thunder wasn’t yet one of my favorite things, my mom told me it was just God rearranging his furniture. Other times she told me he was bowling. I knew this was bunkum because I didn’t believe anyone named “God” would participate in such mundane activities. I did believe her, though, when she told me that, despite her tiny size, she used to be a lady wrestler, and her opponents were dinosaurs. And I believed her when she said she won, because there was no way T-Rex could have with those tiny, tiny arms.

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